Well this has been dormant for a while now. Sorry to those of you who actually read this. I have been side tracked with finals, rocky relationships, and self discovery. So to start off I guess I will tell you about finals. I managed to pass every single class and I only got a C in one, and I got one A and the rest are Bs. I am very proud of myself considering this was my first college experience away from home and no help from anyone but me. So I lived through my first semester. The second one thing on the list; well, that one is a little more of a hairy situation. Let's just say it is a singletons Christmas for me. Lastly my journey of self discovery. This is the topic that has been most interesting for me so far and it isn't even close to being over. I came to discover, through the tough love of my parents, that I was a complete nut bar. I had taken my body, my temple and turned it into my own personal asylum. I was so worried about how others see me that I had been creating my own drama. Which now that I think about it is rather funny because I hate drama. I was a fool, but in reality who isn't? While I may not be having the whirl wind happy go lucky break that everyone else is having, I have something better. I have my family. No money to go on some crazy trip, not a lot of presents, no snow, no romance, and no excitement in sad little Kelso; but I am OK. Better then OK. to let ones self be broken mean that one has temporary given up on life. I am not giving up.
The best thing about all of this realization is the fact that one word has started to change my out look on things. the word TOMORROW. The next day can only get better. Say you made a mistake on Monday; here is the beauty... one less mistake you will make on Tuesday. It can always get better. I am not broken, but I am constantly wearing band aids and using ice packs from falling, but I always get back up. I may not be broken, but I will admit with complete certainty that I am dis functional, that is part of being me. I am strange and I like it, that is just the way I am. The best Christmas gift I could have gotten this year I have already gotten. The gift of knowing that I am not alone in my struggles; I have my family, my wonderful friends, and God. I will never again in my life be alone or will have any reason to feel that I am. I am a bandaged, dis functional, weirdo... and that's not bad.
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