My Life In The Stop Lane....

Having one of those days...... you ever had one of those days where you just are not content with being yourself? Well I am. I don't know what it is but something just got me down. I think it is all this rain, but back to my day and what I was talking about. I wish there was some adventure! For me this could be a number of things. The first thing that comes to mind is m parents winning the lottery; now that is a good time =). I would wake up first thing in the morning and go get me my new Subaru Outback that I want. My senior trip would be a no brain er! I would be going to the Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas... and possible bring home a cute cabana boy ha ha! That is adventure numero uno. The second one that comes to mind is the adventure of love. Meeting the right guy, because lets face it, those who know me know that I have no luck with the guy department. Now when I say meet the right guy I don't mean I want prince charming to walk up to me in class and wonder where I have been his whole life; that is way to cliche for me and too conventional. I am a more unconventional person. I dream of having that wow factor. Now i don't mean wow factor like the guy is a super spy or anything because that is just crazy talk; I mean something along the lines of I have never met this guy before and he makes an effort to get to know me and takes me out on a date that is something totally crazy, like a hockey game, a museum, a candle lit picnic in the park, something not normal. No movies, or generic dinner dates those are over rated. I picture my night in shining armor as something a little more brash then the typical spic and span stereo type. I picture a savage hockey player, a guy with a few tattoos and maybe a piercing or two, or maybe even a dancer. Like I said, I don't do typical. And now da da da! Adventure number three something crazy that could never happen. Becoming best friends with some one totally famous. I don't know who but that would be awesome! I think shopping in crazy places and going to awesome clubs and meeting other famous people would be completely insane!

Well Those are my adventures one or two may happen ha ha but for now I am just going to enjoy my like in Kelso where nothing crazy ever happens and I will just dream about one of my wonderful adventures possibly happening.

Tennyson and love...

Every one at one point or another has heard the saying, "Ti's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." Lord Alfred Tennyson wrote that. Now Tennyson is an amazing writer but I personally do not think that he really grasped the concept of what he was actually writing. If a person has never loved then they honestly do not know what they are missing. It is like a person never eating junk food; they know what it is and they want it but they will not understand how it tastes until they have actually had it, the same concept with love. See when a person really truly loves and then loses that love it is not like losing a favorite shirt or a favorite book. When a true love is lost, that person looses a part of them selves. We as humans spend about half of our life trying to figure out who we are, now picture losing a piece of that. It took some much time to build that one piece and now you have to start all over. That is true love. Also true love is even more then that. True love is when a person goes to bed and dreams about the one that they love but wake up to realities nightmare when they have come to realize that the warm and safe embrace is not really there. True love is when you get excited when your phone goes off thinking it might be that person. True love is when you are more excited for that special persons victories then your own and that you are more disappointed for their failures then your own.

I believe in true love with my whole heart and I know what it is like to loose love as well and I have to strongly disagree with Tennyson because with the heartache that I feel, I would rather have never loved at all. Yes, true love can actually be that strong.

Love's List

Every person and every culture believes in their "other half". I am included. The amazing thing about love is that there are so many stories about it. One of my personal favorites is the one from Greek mythology. The gods took one man and split him right down the middle; half of him was male and half was the female. These two people would search their whole lives just for the other half; and in the words of H.L. and the News, "That's the power of love!"

Thinking about all this made me think about what I see in love. Now I came to think I knew what I wanted at church camp last year. I made a list of what I want in a relationship and what I deserve. My list is a little faulty.... and it is also long.

1. A man that is kind to all



2. A man that has a heart for God



3. A man that is honest



4. A man that is loyal



5. A man that has all of his priorities in order



6. A man who can make me laugh



7. A man who is pure is preferred



8. A man who wants to take charge of the relationship spiritually



9. A man who will take the time to sit and talk with me



10. A man who does not speak to me out of anger



11. A man who is a gentleman



12. A man who sees the beauty in forgiveness



13. A man who would love my family like their own



14. A man who treats me as an equal



15. A man who shows me how much he loves me in random little ways.



16. A man is creative



17. A man that knows how to have fun



18. A man who is not afraid of my emotions



19. A man who will sit an pray with me



20. A man who will pray for me



21. A man with the right amount of independence and the right amount of dependence



22. A man that I can call my best friend



23. A man that would kiss me on the nose because he thinks it is adorable



24. A man that will call me in the middle of the night to talk to me because he had a nightmare and wants to hear my voice



25. A man who would stay with me all night if I had a nightmare just to make sure I could get some sleep



26. A man that wants to spend every waking moment with me but doesn't because he loves the anticipation



27. A man that has no problem admitting his feelings to me or anyone else



28. A man that will shout from the roof tops how he feels when he is ready



29. A man who will dance with me when there is no music



30. A man who will sing to me when there is no music



31. A man who will write poetry about me



32. A man that wants to take me or random little trips



33. A man who loves to dance, and will take me dancing



34. A man that believes that a romantic dinner does not have to cost a boat load of money



35. A man who will actually send me flowers just because he was thinking about me, and he will get the flowers based on what one remind him of me.

So as you can see I have a huge list =) and I can continue, but then I am worried that it will start turning into a work of fiction... I'm afraid I might have already crossed that line, but a girl can dream right?! If only, if only. Well I am going to head to bed now and dream about my perfect man. Because I now that no matter what happens in reality I will always have my prince charming in my dreams; he will save me from waking up tonight. =)

Mind Sweeper (the relationship version.)

Well everyone has either seen or played a game called Minesweeper. You know, the one where you click on the little squares and try not to hit a bomb. Well my most resent relationship reminds me of the game Minesweeper. First it started out great, hitting a couple of ones when he would give me cute little compliments, some twos when he would kiss my nose and tell me he loves me, and the occasional threes when he would give me cute little gifts to show me how much he loves me. Well with every good streak has to come a bomb; especially for me because I have never won Minesweeper. After the first "bomb" I was crushed and cried for two days. Well today I hit a couple of twos when I got an 'I love you" and an "I miss you" little did I know that was all followed by another BOMB! This is why I do not play video games I do not understand them.

I can officially say that I hate the game Minesweeper, because I don't do mind games. No one should play them because they give you headaches.

I am a princess and my Father is the King of Kings....

Have you ever heard the saying, "the heart wants what the heart wants"? Well my heart seems to want the wrong things. I am saying this as a newly single woman. I feel in love with a man who was my everything. I have never loved so deeply and then... Poof! There it goes. This whole relationship has really opened my eyes to a few things.

1. I have NEVER been in love like this before.

2. A man must love a woman despite what some others think.

3. And lastly, 1 John 4:18... There is no fear in love; perfect love drives out fear. Fear has to do with punishment; he who fears is not perfect in love.

That is 100% true! If you are afraid of anything in a relationship you are not only going to punish yourself but the one that you are with. This fear destroys everything; happiness, good sleep, friendships, the whole relationship will suffer. After a whole day of crying I am actually doing great. I have a new out look on life. In God's eyes I am a princess, and my heart is solely his and just on lone to another man. There for any man who wishes to have my heart has to go to God to get it and he has to treat me like a princess too. I know that probably sounds conceded but it is the truth..... I think it is time for me to turn into bed; work was long and my feet hurt. =)