Nerd-tastic!

You know that whole saying, "life comes at you fast"? Well why is it that the only parts of life that come wizzing towards your head are the ones that you dont want and the ones that you do want to hurry up and get there take forever? For thoughs of you that know me I have a hard time being pacient with a lot of things and the aspects of life that I dont know anything about it one of these things. Everything is upside down and I feel like my brain is on the fritz. Well, that might have something to do with the six cups of coffee that I have drank today or the fact that I have now gone about 30 hours with no sleep, I think I am slightly delirious. The only thing I keep looking forward to is the day that I get to go to play practice. I feel safe, happy, creative, adn at home in the drama room. I feel like something is pulling me back to this one building. I know it isnt the lack of sleep talking becasue ever since I started doing Everyman I cant stop smiling when I leave practice. The people are beyond amazing.

Another thing I look forward to every day is watching the sun set. Like right now I am watching it through the drama hall windows and it is beautiful. The only hing that wouold mat it better is if I had some one to share it with and a hot beverage. I promise that is my only lovey dovey bit I am going to put into this post.

In other news I have broken my record for staying awake. I have officially gone 30 hours without sleep! It wasnt just pulling an all nighter either. It was writing a paper and deciding; hmm, do I try to sleep and brobably not wake up for class or do I just stay awake for 3 more houres an then get ready for class. I picked the second becasue it seemed to be the lesser of the two evils. So I stayed up and watche The Big Bang Theory for three hours. Oh and If you haven't seen the show you msut take a chance on it... SO FUNNY! I think the really funny part is that I actually get all of their jokes... most of them are all massive scientific terms but they make complete sence to me. It is probably my new favorite TV show =). The best thing about it is that the guys in it are 100 percent socially awkward; and I love socially awkward people! Any ways I need to get some sleep =). Talk to you all later!

Small Changes...

Today is probably the laziest I have ever been! I didn't wake up until 11, which is weird for me, I am still in my PJs, and I am eating cinnamon cotton candy, tortilla chips, and peppermint tea for breakfast. HA! Can you see where my day is going? Its is nice because this is the first week that I don't have a ton of homework looming over my head.

In other news I have another blog on Tumblr and it is all about fashion and makeup; Fashion According To Sassy Pants! LOL! Well needless to say I am doing a lot better since mt last posting. I am not super worried about what I am going to do with my life now. My mom brought to my attention that with a teaching degree I can branch off any where so that put me at ease. Also I have started to make some great friends. Friday my floor brothers and sisters went to the beach and had a bonfire, then a small group of us went down to the U district, which was amazing! I loved every minute of it. it is nice to go to a school where almost everyone embraces your weirdness and is willing to be friends with you. I love you 600 Tribe!

OK, so on a not so wonderful note I did have a bad night last night. In high school I was not as accepted by the student population. The only really solid group that I had was my winter guard team and I didn't realize how much I miss them. I was looking at old Facebook pics last and I lost it. I cried for like 20 min. I decided that I am getting a flag at Christmas time. I need an outlet here. Northwest is a great school but not being allowed to dance unless it is cultural, or choreographed.... I normally don't do choreo, I dance what I feel, whether it is my pathetic attempt at hip hop, salsa, or me busting out in my contempo. But I can't do that here. I have been going on late night walks and just dancing. I probably look like an idiot but hey at least I am dancing. Late night dance sessions are not going to last forever though because it likes to rain in Seattle. If I have a flag I can still play in the rain, besides it will build great muscle that way =). Well here is looking up that life continues to gradually get better. I think the play that I am in is going to do that. The people I get to work with are amazing and I really feel like I am where I am supposed to be. I think I belong on a stage, or in some kind of performance. I always wind up going back to some kind of performance =). I see a pattern.

Well I gotta go and load my new makeup vid on Tumblr. Tune in if you like make up and fashion.

Hasta!

So this is what prison feels like?

Remember that whole, lets see if I can make it through college thing, ha ha well..........

You ever feel like you are constantly beating your head up against a wall. Like you are meant to do something completely then where you are currently headed? Right now I do. I am glad to be in school no doubt but I am not in any way inspired with anything around me. I have no color right now at school, I am a blank canvas. I want to paint, craft, travel, write, dance, fall in love with creativity. I am already so sick of sitting and doing homework all the time. I haven't even had time to wander down town Kirkland yet! I have been in solitary confinement my first two weeks and it is only going to be getting worse. Doing summer school on top of all of this work has gotten to be over kill. I am starting to enjoy school less and less (although people think it is asinine that I even liked school to begin with). I feel like I am in a prison, surrounded by walls to textbooks, papers, and constant worries with a side order of guilt. I am constantly studying because I can't afford to not pass any classes. The price that colleges ask for an education is criminal! I spent my whole Saturday doing HOMEWORK! Seven straight hours to be exact, yesterday was four hours, and tomorrow I get to do more! It is no freaking wonder people drop out of college all the time. As of the moment I do not want to be a teacher. I want to sell art and I want to write novels and poetry, get into an art gallery, and sell my stories. Life is starting to become dry and very stagnant. I need something to change this all around or I am going to go dry and stagnant myself. One piece of advice for anyone who reads this.DO NOT EVER DO SUMMER SCHOOL! You need to give your self a break, do not do what I did. Please.

Sincerely,

The tired, ranting, and overly stressed college student.