Life comes at you fast; I'm sure everyone has had that saying thrown at them at least once.Life started throwing itself at me last year. I was getting ready to leave and go to Easter Washington University and start a new chapter. Now most normal teens are totally pumped to leave and go off to college; notice how I said most teens? Well I was not so ready to go out and chart my own course, I was stuck in Neverland facing Peter Pan syndrome, not wanting to grow up. I was an 18 year old who was a complete failure as an adult. No car, no job, no license, and from the look of it, going no where.I felt like life was a major league baseball player throwing one curve ball after another and I was the uncoordinated dork who got suck with him for batting practice, that actually felt more like target practice. I was in a down ward spiral to complete loserdom (yes, I am making up my own words). It got to the point where my parents had to go all Paul Bunyan on me and bring down the axe. At first I thought, wow this is completely unfair but then I realized that I am truing into one of those people who is a slug that lives with their parent until they are 40. I started to panic. Step one to becoming my own personal Superman and defeating my kryptonight is getting the whole driving part squared away. Spending the time to actually study for the written test was like scraping a cheese grater across my forehead. I hate homework for starters, and driving scares the crap out of me. Any ways, I learned how to deal with the scaring on my forehead and take the test. I barely passed the written with an 80, but hey I passed. I also want to point out the the test questions contradict common sense. The next thing I had to do was actually drive; everyone run for your lives I'm behind the wheel!!! I passed with an 86, BOO YA!!! Phase one was complete, I am now a licensed driver! Phase two is school. I start LCC in the January. So phase 2 is well on its way. Phase 3 is where I hit a road block; finding a job. In this crappy economy, yeah right. After the first of the year I am going to hit the pavement, hard!
This brings me to my New Years resolution. I am not doing the typical weight loss, find love, make more money, or anything like that. I am A: going to get a job, or die trying, B: get into Northwest University, C: get a car, and D: apply for a different scholarship, everyday until I leave for school. It seems a little heavy to me but I have to do it. Now that these thoughts are going through my head I am starting to see life a little differently. I always talk about wanting adventure, wanting change, and wanting to grow and now I am going out and doing it. The past couple of days I have found myself randomly day dreaming that I am a college student at NYU (super far from home), I live in a coed dorm (not in my comfort zone), I go to school on a campus that is HUGE ( not what I am used to) and you know what, I am soooo freaking happy with life. It is like I am seeing everything for the first time with no child glasses on and I am really excited. Oh and for those of you who actually read this will really get a kick out of this one. I have no boyfriend and I LOVE IT!!!! Almost every post that I did before had something to do with love, because let's face it, I am a girl and it is a great subject to write about. However now I am soooo glad that I don't have to deal with making a guy happy! I want to make me happy and worry about my future! =D Wow it feels really good to say that!
Now I will leave you with this. Being completely petrified of life and its unknown possibilities is completely normal and ok, but don't let fear bring your life to a screeching halt. Write your own story, be your own hero, and for God's sake, don't make your story a drama, horror, or murder mystery. =P Good night!
